the opposite of an air mattresses
Something that has always confused other people about me, but has always made perfect sense to me, is my circadian rhythm.
To be specific: I wake up at full energy and slowly run out as the day slog on, I don’t experience those peaks and valleys through the day that people talk about. Looking back I never really have, unless I’m doing something that would forcibly alter my energy levels (such as drinking coffee or doing significantly more than i’m used to in a day).
Like an air mattress slowly running out of air, only to be replenished once more when I sleep.
(So like, the opposite of an air mattress really.)
This has always perplexed people in my life. Not because I slowly get tired as the day wears on, but because I wake up like a light switch. I pop out of bed ready to have a full conversation before I’ve even wiped the crust out of my eyes. Which I wouldn’t mind if anyone felt the same way, but instead I’m often met by the kind of energy you might have if a cacophony of teens meandered past your pounding hangover.
As a result, mornings in my life have always oscillated between peaceful and lonely. I think they always will.
Lately they’ve been peaceful, productive even. I’m trying to hold onto that.