irritable by nature
I’ve always been one to be easily annoyed.
In fact, you could say it’s been a driving motivator in my life.
At a young age, my mother told me not to complain about things that I couldn’t do better myself, so my cocky ass decided I would try to do anything that I felt was lacking in quality.
This did serve the purpose of humbling me seeing as at the young age of 6 or so I, obviously, couldn’t do much, but I could do more than I expected, and thus a core of my work ethic was born.
Don’t like something? Try to make it better!
Can’t hack it? Then pipe down short stuff.
My dissatisfaction helped me to gain many skills, like how to make a fried egg with a perfectly firm white and runny yolk, how to code a website, and how to sew clothes.
However, I’ve been wondering recently, has leaning into this source of inspiration made me more easily aggravated?
Have I taught myself to search for improvements?
Have I forgotten how to be content?
Maybe I'm being pessimistic. My mother clearly gave me that advice because I was already a picky little shithead, so maybe it just helped me gain some perspective.
Either way, I’m trying to be less irritable.
I’d like to enjoy things more, ideally.